It’s time we have a little chat, dear affiliate marketing friend.  


I understand you’ve been working hard at creating this online business for a several weeks now, perhaps even several months. I understand that you’re willing to throw in the towel, call it quits. 


I hear you.  Let’s talk.


You jumped into this journey thinking that it would be easier, maybe even much easier. I know you watched a lot of videos on social media by people selling you a bit of goods that didn’t really pan out.  You’re probably thinking: this definitely isn’t for me, and I don’t think I can put the time that’s needed into this. 


I’m not writing you this letter because I want to convince you otherwise.  Maybe you’re right: maybe this online business thing isn’t for you.

But maybe it is.

Truly, I don’t know.  I don’t know your situation nor your journey, and I can’t tell you what your path is supposed to be. 


I said from the beginning of my journey that I have every intention of being authentic as well as transparent with you.  Maybe my journey will inspire and motivate you, maybe it won’t (surely I hope it’s the former).

This is where we get to have a conversation about mindset because this is where it comes in to play.  I don’t want to have a conversation about mindset when the sky is blue and the birds are singing, I want to have a conversation about mindset when things look a little gloomy. I want to have a conversation with you when things get hard. 


Yes, I’m sure you just rolled your eyes at me… but before you stop reading and I lose you, hear me out:

My mom reads my blog (Hi Mom!) and she sent me a message earlier this week and told me she thought I should write about mindset.  My initial thought was, “that’s sooooo overdone… Absolutely not.” Generally I look for any reason to do the opposite of what Mom suggests, however, after thinking about it, I agreed with her and decided this would be an excellent topic for this week. After the week I just had, the timing couldn’t be more perfect. (Maybe Moms know these things, I don’t know..)


The topic of a positive mindset is thrown around a lot.  Sometimes it’s thrown around so much that it gets watered down and loses its importance… at least I believe it does. It’s trendy to talk about about mindset. 


In my chiropractic coaching course, I talk about having the right mindset in place before doing anything else to launch your practice. I go into tremendous detail about what that entails because I truly believe the right mindset is the foundation for a chiropractic practice and for the chiropractic entrepreneur.


I’ll take this a step further and say a positive mindset is the foundation for every successful business.  Period.  I would tell any person that’s looking to start any business to do a self check-in on your mindset, and if it’s not in a positive place, then I would stop and work on that until it changes… because nothing else matters if that’s not where it needs to be.  (Sorry… not sorry)

Your mindset is the perspective, the lens to which you look through to the world.  I truly believe how you look at your situation, and your circumstances, is a choice.  Sorry if that hit a nerve, but I have yet to have that proven false. 


Back to our original topic at hand, and you considering whether to throw in the towel.  This idea of an online business was brought to you. Hear me out… keep reading:

By no means am I perfect.  I have many, many flaws.  However, one thing I am very grateful for is that I do believe I generally have a consistent positive mindset on life and my circumstances. I choose to look at the circumstances in my life as there being a reason for everything: there’s a reason why I was pulled to close the private practice, there’s a reason why I was pulled to start an online business, there’s a reason why I was pulled to hire a coach, and the specific coach I did.  There’s a reason why I ordered The Iceberg Effect when I did and there’s a reason that I just so happen to have just enough money to hire my coach to help with the process of teaching me how to set up and grow my business. I open myself up for miracles to occur and more times than not, they do.


God (or the Universe, however you choose to look at it) doesn’t make mistakes and there are no coincidences. The situations and opportunities placed in front of you, they are never by accident.  There’s always a lesson or an experience attached with it.  I don’t know what that is for you, and more times than not, I’m unsure what that is for me… I simply know there is one.  My goal in life is to roll with the punches… and trust me, there have been plenty of punches.

I can’t tell you that your journey in setting up your online business will be a smooth one, and I can’t tell you how long it will take you to get up, running, and profitable.  What I can tell you is that you’re on this path for a reason.  You have been introduced to these methods for a reason, and you’re right here, right now, for a reason. It’s your choice whether or not you commit to this process with gratitude, or complain about all the things that could go wrong along the way.  The choice is yours. You can choose to be thankful you found people, or a person, to support you along your journey, or you can choose to complain that things aren’t as you thought they would be. 

You can look at setting up this online journey in two ways: you can understand you’re in this situation for a reason, and you can choose to see it through, successfully… committing to the fact that there are no other options.  Or, you can allow circumstances to take you to a point where bowing out, quitting, is your best option.

I’m fully aware that your default mindset is a result of many things, many of which are unconsciously and seemingly out of your control.  Your default mindset may be a result of your upbringing, your spouse, the relationships and people surrounding you, or seemingly difficult circumstances surrounding you, etc.  I am fully aware that a positive mindset isn’t an easy thing to maintain.  Like I mentioned earlier… by no means am I perfect and I certainly have my moments.  My goal when I have those “moments” is to recognize them for what they are and attempt to get back to my grounded, grateful state as soon as possible.  When I’m having a bad moment/day/week… I recognize this isn’t who I really am.  I remind myself of the miracles and coincidences I have experienced up to this point.  My goal in those moments is to just “let it be,” and let it ride itself out.  Sometimes it takes a day, or two, or even a week. However long it takes, it takes.  My goal for you is to recognize where you are and gauge if your current mindset is helping or hurting your situation. 


Are you your own worst enemy?

Are you talking yourself in or out?  Is your mind controlling your situation, in other words, are you making an emotional decision, or are you making a decision from a neutral, grounded place? 


Wherever your mindset is, be rest assured that will breed more of the same.  In other words, a gracious attitude breeds more of things to be grateful for.  A negative outlook breeds more things to complain about.  The choice is yours. 

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17 thoughts on “When Things Get Hard”

  1. Sarah Goulding

    It’s like you wrote this for me and I’m very grateful you did.
    I often think about my ‘journey’ and what lead me to researching and landing on an advert for the iceberg effect. I have to say, whatever the reason, I’m incredibly glad. The new skills I’ve learnt are mind blowing but the community support is an experience I’ve never had before. This is the main reason I’m very thankful. There are many mentors out there, but I found one that was right for me, I found a support network right for me and now friends that are…. Right for me. Positive and supportive. A heart full of gratitude

    1. Lauren Millman

      You hit the nail on the head, girl…. “A heart full of gratitude,” is the BEST place to come from. I’m so glad you enjoyed the post and I appreciate you following my journey! Your comments each week I’m finding very inspiring!

  2. WOW! Just WOW! Thank you, Lauren. This blog post has really helped me to understand where you’re coming from and where you’re going. You are speaking from experience when you reference mindset. We all struggle with positivity and feelings of angst and wanting to give up. You speak from the heart and it feels so warm and enveloping to know that others have these feelings of overwhelm and frustration. This is why a person’s “WHY” is essential to revisit when having gloomy and negative thoughts. The reminder of why you have been and continue down that path you’ve been on. It also serves to provide the excitement that brought you to this place to begin with. I appreciate your insight and knowledge from your experiences, and I always look forward to your weekly blog posts. Thank you so much. I am a huge fan!

    1. Lauren Millman

      Wow, Vanessa, thank you so much! I am truly humbled that you’ve become a fan of the blog posts! I’m thoroughly enjoying writing them but knowing people like you are enjoying them, is really compounding that! I’m glad to see you come back week after week!

  3. This is so good and timely! Moms always know, huh? I don’t think we could ever get enough of a positive mindset reminder. I am one of those that are struggling to make this business work, but for me, it is a matter of patience and pride – I can’t and will not give up! I firmly believe and subscribe to the statement you made, “The situations and opportunities placed in front of you, they are never by accident. There’s always a lesson or an experience attached with it.” Put it on a t-shirt and I’ll wear it. 🙂 While I have a me mentor, sometimes we need coaches. You are that to me today. Have a great and productive week!

    1. Lauren Millman

      Wow, Ernie…. your comments always touch me so! (I’m not crying, you’re crying!) I’m glad my posts are having an effect on you… Mission Accomplished! And give me some time… I’ll get that on a t-shirt here soon…

  4. This week I heard someone say it’s easier to change your disposition than your position – meaning it’s easier to change your mindset than all the other things in your life (most of which you don’t have any control over).

    Choosing to have gratitude can enable us to be happy, and to continue doing the things we know need to be done. But if we don’t have gratitude we probably will never be happy, even if we accomplish everything we dream off.

    1. Lauren Millman

      Nathan… I have heard that saying as well, about the disposition/position. I actually would rephrase that comment, if “the powers that be” allowed me to: I would say, “It SHOULD be easier to change your disposition than your position.” In other words… you would think that those 6 inches between your ears should be easy enough to control and change, when actuality I do think that’s probably the hardest. Sometimes people would rather put in all the resources, man hours, or effort into changing the external factors when in actuality the internal environment is what needs changing. I think it SHOULD be easier to change our disposition, but sadly, it’s not always that easy. And lastly… yes… GRATITUDE is absolutely KEY! Without an underlying foundation of gratitude, you don’t open yourself for more things to be grateful for.

  5. Lauren,

    I hear you!

    The journey of building an online business can feel like a rollercoaster ride, with its ups and downs. That can make you feel like throwing in the towel so to speak.

    I know from personal experience that It’s easy to get caught up in the allure of quick success, fueled by flashy social media promises.

    But as you know true success requires a healthy mindset, one that sees challenges as opportunities and setbacks as stepping stones.

    I know talking about mind set seems cliché, but its importance cannot be overstated. Your outlook truly does shape your destiny.

    When building a business, whether online or offline, is a journey filled with twists and turns.

    But remember, you’re not alone.

    Every obstacle is a chance to learn and grow, and every setback is a setup for a comeback.

    So, choose resilience over resignation, and embrace the journey with open arms.

    You got this!
    Have a great and prosperous day!!!

    1. Lauren Millman

      Such excellent points CJ. I appreciate your outlook… and in particular, about this topic. I know from reading some of your blogs that this is a big, hot topic for you as well. Thank you for continuing to read and follow my blog, I truly appreciate your commentary!

  6. Hi Lauren, I wanted to say thank you for your heartfelt letter. It’s rare to hear someone talk so openly about the struggles of starting an online business, and I appreciate your honesty.

    I really connect with your message about mindset. It’s important to see challenges as opportunities to learn and grow, and your perspective is inspiring.

    I loved hearing about how your mom influenced your decision to write about mindset. It’s funny how sometimes the things we resist end up being exactly what we need.

    Your reminder to be aware of our mindset and choose positivity is so important. It’s easy to let negativity creep in, but we have the power to shift our perspective.

    Thanks for reminding us to approach our journey with gratitude and resilience. Your words are a guiding light for me going through the ups and downs of entrepreneurship. Thanks Atif

    1. Lauren Millman

      You are SO right, Atif: It is easy to allow negativity to seep in. We’re surrounded and inundated with it DAILY. We have to consciously focus on positivity… and I think we all can agree that’s not always the easy path. Thank you for the kind words, I truly appreciate you continuing to follow my journey!

  7. Sherri Pulcino

    Mindset. What a powerful thing. Mindset is so important in business as well as everyday life. Since I have started my online business I have had to check and recheck my mindset. It is easy to get sidetracked and lose focus.

    1. Lauren Millman

      I think that’s something that EVERY business owner has to do consistently: We all have to have have our mental check in on a regular basis. I don’t think it’s something that’s talked a lot about.. but a positive mindset is just as important as the business itself!

  8. Alison Blaire

    Great post-Lauren; I have definitely not been in the best mindset lately and have thankfully started to snap out of it, regain my strength, and move forward. Along this affiliate marketing journey, we are sure to face many challenges, and our mindset will be tested; it is important to accept this and do your best to pivot and adjust and keep going!

    1. Lauren Millman

      I couldn’t have said it better myself, Alison: I believe it comes down to giving ourselves a little grace and allowing ourselves the time we need to “recalibrate” before knowing we still need to move forward. The pace is less important, it’s more about the consistency in a forward direction. Keep at it, girl… YOU got this!

  9. Hi Lauren,
    Such a great read – and full of so much truth!
    We can be our worst enemy when it comes to things we start like our Affiliate Marketing business.
    I know for one that I can be hard on myself and yet, not take into consideration what I’ve learnt and implemented so far.
    Wishing you all the best!


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